When September Ends

 

 

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ― William Shakespeare

 

Gloomy is the only word I can think of when coming to describe myself in this September month.  It has been a particularly dark and murky month for me.  I spent most of my days either in bed or wandering aimlessly at home.

One Long Weekend Made Longer

 

It is tough to spend a long weekend all by yourself without your loved one and the worst part of my life is there will be more of those days to come.  I just cannot stop asking God why does He allow death and sufferings on earth.  I have been waiting all these months for just one answer from Him.

 

Four months have gone by and I am still living in regrets and guilts.  My head is working like a dryer day and night with regrets and guilts spinning round and round in me trying to dry them out.   I guess the dryer is aging and its spinning power is slowing down.  The drying process is taking longer and longer.

 

 

 

Watching TV

I was watching the RNC (Republican National Conference) 2012 on MSNBC earlier and was thinking if Terry was still with us, he would be watching the same programme on TV.  He was into US politics as he seriously considered himself to be a half American just because Mum Lorna was also holding an American passport (I believe she was born in Canada)!   He would sing National Anthems for both Canada and USA when we went to hockey games at GM Place.

Divorces

My one year old laptop that Terry got me went gaga this week.  After restoring it to an earlier date, the whole Microsoft Office 2010 Professional Plus disappeared into thin air and looked like it was in the process of filing for a divorce.  I have to technically post a WANTED poster for all the missing softwares as separation is out of my equation in this relationship.   I   do not want to let go of it yet.  Being a computer dummy myself, it left me with no choice but to call Raymond, the Bounty Hunter for help.  I left my laptop with him yesterday and hopefully he can locate the missing party for me to save my bond.

Blessed By Angels

 

 

 

Isn't it amazing to have so many angels dancing around you? 

Last week, I was in a panic mood as I noticed there are a number of issues with my car that may need servicing attention but the warranty of the car will soon be expiring in September.  Will I have enough time to deal with those problems before the warranty is up and will those repairs be covered by the warranty?  I also do not want to face any unexpected repairs and expenses after the warranty so I want to make sure the car company will do a full check on my car before the coverage is up.  But how well will you trust the company when they have a business to run?

Yesterday Once More? Yesterday No More!

August 23, 2012, 2:59 am

Yesterday morning was one of those mornings that I was swarmed with guilt while thinking of Terry about things that I could have done better and nicer to him but did not, words that I could have said and presented to him in a better and sweeter manner but I did not.  Waves after waves of guilt were rushing ashore and carrying me offshore that I almost drowned myself in tears.

 

Obviously Terry heard me and sent me two significant indications that warmed my heart, comforted me, assured me that he is and will always be with me and wanted me to free myself from feeling guilty as he has forgiven me for whatever I have done to him and that he is not angry at me anymore.