From 'WE' To 'I'

 

One Year Later.....

 

I have to finally admit Terry did leave me for good.  It was a year two days ago.  It has definitely been a heartbreaking and devastating one year for me in particular changing the sentence structure from 'we' to 'I'.

 

I had my birthday last month and was like 'oh, no more birthday gift from Terry ever again'.  It was not the gift that I was missing.  Hmm.... on second thought, I should rephrase it to "It might not be.....".  Actually, it was his physical presence that I miss most dearly.  I am still holding onto the last birthday present I got from him, an beautiful Orchid plant. I have been hoping a new spike will grow every year so that I can still have a gift from him year after year.   Isn't that great?  But so far, the orchid has been pretty quiet in its own form.  I am not rushing it and am sure Terry will do something about it in his own way.

 

So, what's next for me?  Time to turn a new page in life?  Time to walk out of grief and move on?

Surviving 2012

I have been so remiss with my postings and it has been such a long time since I last wrote.  So.... my life over the last 4 months?  I have been so hooked onto watching Korean and Taiwanese dramas on my ipad for the past half a year and to make matters worse, just start picking up Sugar Crush the last two weeks!  They can definitely take my mind off one thing but getting too addicted to two hurts more.  I should have better things to do than that but I will just consider them as a therapy I need for now.

Do You Remember?

Do you still remember the birthday gift from Tina and Jean?

Do you still remember the message you wanted to put on the tile?

Tina, Jean, Wayne and I attended the inauguration of the Leave Your Mark! Community Campaign on the new Ken Spencer Science Park at TELUS World of Science on October 21, 2012.  It was so thoughtful of Tina and Jean to think of you when Science World came up with this name your tile campaign and decided to buy you a tile for your birthday this year.   Too sad you could not get to see the tile in person but I knew  you were with us that day.

When A Date Hurts

Was it the weather or was it just me?
Was it the date that hurts or was it just me?
I cried myself to sleep that night and it was the first time after Terry passed away.

October 10 may mean nothing to most people but it could have been our 8th anniversary.  Terry would normally arrange a trip for us in October.  Even though he did not say much about the trip but I knew he cared. 

 

On this October 10, even though he was no longer with me, even though there was no more trip for us, he did once again show his presence to me.  He remembered. 

Thanksgiving Day

I once thought I would be left alone after Terry passed away. 

I once thought the 'Froese' would soon be a past tense to me.  

I once thought it would be a lonesome Thanksgiving Day for me from now on.

When September Ends

 

 

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ― William Shakespeare

 

Gloomy is the only word I can think of when coming to describe myself in this September month.  It has been a particularly dark and murky month for me.  I spent most of my days either in bed or wandering aimlessly at home.