Watching TV

I was watching the RNC (Republican National Conference) 2012 on MSNBC earlier and was thinking if Terry was still with us, he would be watching the same programme on TV.  He was into US politics as he seriously considered himself to be a half American just because Mum Lorna was also holding an American passport (I believe she was born in Canada)!   He would sing National Anthems for both Canada and USA when we went to hockey games at GM Place.

Divorces

My one year old laptop that Terry got me went gaga this week.  After restoring it to an earlier date, the whole Microsoft Office 2010 Professional Plus disappeared into thin air and looked like it was in the process of filing for a divorce.  I have to technically post a WANTED poster for all the missing softwares as separation is out of my equation in this relationship.   I   do not want to let go of it yet.  Being a computer dummy myself, it left me with no choice but to call Raymond, the Bounty Hunter for help.  I left my laptop with him yesterday and hopefully he can locate the missing party for me to save my bond.

Blessed By Angels

 

 

 

Isn't it amazing to have so many angels dancing around you? 

Last week, I was in a panic mood as I noticed there are a number of issues with my car that may need servicing attention but the warranty of the car will soon be expiring in September.  Will I have enough time to deal with those problems before the warranty is up and will those repairs be covered by the warranty?  I also do not want to face any unexpected repairs and expenses after the warranty so I want to make sure the car company will do a full check on my car before the coverage is up.  But how well will you trust the company when they have a business to run?

Yesterday Once More? Yesterday No More!

August 23, 2012, 2:59 am

Yesterday morning was one of those mornings that I was swarmed with guilt while thinking of Terry about things that I could have done better and nicer to him but did not, words that I could have said and presented to him in a better and sweeter manner but I did not.  Waves after waves of guilt were rushing ashore and carrying me offshore that I almost drowned myself in tears.

 

Obviously Terry heard me and sent me two significant indications that warmed my heart, comforted me, assured me that he is and will always be with me and wanted me to free myself from feeling guilty as he has forgiven me for whatever I have done to him and that he is not angry at me anymore.

Thoughts

  

Just found an email from my aunt Hidy sitting in the junk box of an email account I rarely use.  Normally, I will just delete all the junk mails without checking but today I found this email.  I guess it is meant to be read by me.  Here are some of the meaningful thoughts in the email that I find them worth sharing with my friends:

Why is a Car's WINDSHIELD so large and the Rear view Mirror so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, Look Ahead and Move On.

為什麼汽車的擋風玻璃這麽大，而後視鏡卻如此的小？因為我們的過去沒有像我們的未來這般重要。所以，集中精神向前看，向著未來前進。

I Had A Dream

I had a weird dream last night, the night after I visited Terry in Yarrow that afternoon.  In the dream, Wayne told me his brother was not home all night.  I then called Terry on his cell to make sure he was sound and safe (I still remember clearly the number I called in the dream was someone else's phone number).  Terry answered the phone and his voice was so full of energy, cheerful and excited.  He told me he had a new assignment or a new position with the company and he had lots to do.  He  had been working all night compiling a report or something.  I told him work was not all important and right at that point, it came to me Terry was no longer with us and he was gone for good.  Then, who was I talking to?  I remained calm and that voice on the other end started to change, a voice that I could not recognize.  The guy then told me he was turning a new page in life and he had to work hard......  seemed like our phone lines got crossed and I was talking to a total stranger.   I was not scared a bit in the dream and woke up with a vivid memory of the dream.

93 Days and Still Counting

Today is the 8th of another month.  Today is the 93rd day of journey on my own.   Today is a day after Lightning Bolt (not Usain Bolt) dropped by to say hi to Vancouver the night before.  Today is another day I have to work hand in hand with Mr. GPS.   Today is the day I get to see Terry, his parents and Auntie Mary again. 

Photography by: Allen Snowdon

I was worried about the road condition after a wild thunderstorm hit the region last night but roads were cleared all the way from Richmond to Yarrow except I did not slow down on a Yield sign merging onto the highway (I only got a glimpse of the sign from the rear mirror after I got honked at) and was thinking I had the right of way.  Naturally, I got the honks and swears I deserved from the driver.  I followed all the instructions given to me this time (even though the street name on the road sign and GPS did not match) and amazingly, I got there without one drop of gas wasted.

No Pain No Gain?

I was watching the 2012 Summer Olympics last week and heard the host said "No Pain No Gain". These four words just struck me like lightning and led me to start pondering upon what am I gaining or will be gaining from the pain that I am suffering from now. I have been trying to find an answer to this question for a few days but am stuck at the emotion cul de sac with no way out.

  

People keep telling me God has His plan for me and that I may not understand it now but will eventually find out His meaning in the future.  They are right.  I really do not know what His plan is for me now and I am actually angry at Him for taking Terry away from me and cannot stop asking "Why Terry?", "Why Me?".  He is the one who gave Terry to me and He is also the one who took Terry away.    On one hand, I cannot help blaming God but on the other, I know I should not be angry at Him for He did extend His Almighty Hands to keep Terry from suffering too much pain during his last days on earth and He was always there for Terry when he needed Him the most.